How romance can bloom
I will soon embark on an adventure to Brazil to see my fiancé once again. I’ve not seen him in over six months so this is long overdue. As I sit here to write today’s blog, I think back to how this romance all started. Two years ago come February, it began with a guitar.
Before I get into the details, let me back up a bit. I have been seeking love for many years. In high school, I dreamed of being a wife and a mother. As time passed, that dream dulled down with the harsh reality of where I was living, how I was treating myself, and a chain of bad relationships. It wasn’t until I began to love myself for who I am that love could enter my life.
It sounds cliché, but we need to love ourselves first
Don’t get confused on this one. So much of society does. Love does not mean buying an expensive piece of jewelry or going to a salon because we feel we “deserve this”. In my opinion, I always say that I deserve nothing. I am blessed for what I have and what comes into my life. This is me.
I believe that self-love begins with what we eat, how we talk to ourselves, who we surround ourselves with, and what we plan for our future. To love ourselves is a journey and not an easy one. There are times that we fall into a gallon of ice cream and cry to a romantic movie. Not a proud moment, but self-love means that the next day will be better.
Once I figured out that I needed to take care of myself and be good to my body, did I start to see the direction I wanted to take in life and in love. I knew what I wanted from a partner and what I was willing to contribute.
Reading creates a love connection
I’m an avid reader of blogs, books, and articles on subjects that I need to learn more about. Growing up, I never had a healthy example of a loving relationship so I wanted to study to see how that would work. What steps did I need to take and what does a loving relationship look like? There were so many questions and I needed to find answers to welcome it into my life.
The biggest answers were that none of us are perfect and If I was not able to find someone in my current circle of contacts, make a bigger circle. I needed to keep an open mind about the men in my life and find different ways of socializing in a healthy manner. One person once said to me “Your choice of men is terrible. Where do you find them? Under rocks in the middle of the forest?” He was being silly but it spoke truth. I needed to give myself the love and respect to welcome love and respect into my life!
Keep an open mind
When my love first contacted me, I was so skeptical and honestly was tired of the dating scene. Something spoke into my heart and I gave him a chance. His good looks and charming smile notwithstanding, we had a lot in common. His English was good and I had some years learning Spanish enough to figure out some phrases in Portuguese. Somehow we made it work.
He was looking to buy a new guitar and noticed I was a singer. He would ask if I could do some research into what I would want for a guitar so I gave to him what I was looking for even if he knew what he was going to get. Soon after, he bought his guitar and would play melodies for me.
At that time, I started to learn guitar myself and he would give me suggestions. He promised that one day he would give me lessons personally. The thing about a guitar is that there is music beyond the plucking of the strings. Despite the distance and cultural differences, the music was the same.
Taking chances and winning big
Like writing a new song, we were making our own path in life. There have been good times and bad, ups and downs, and a lot of patience on both of our parts. Now after two years of dating long distance, that time will soon pass into the next chapter. I know that I would not be here if it wasn’t for the changes I needed to make in my own heart. We will soon be planning our wedding and getting ready for a future where long distance will be a thing of our past.
Having love and giving love is a very real dream that can be welcomed into your life. It means having to be honest with ourselves and truly being naked in front of another person. Our scars will be visible, but if that person truly loves us, the scars are what will make us beautiful. Take the time each day to focus on how you want your future to look like. Reading, expanding the mind, and finding healthy examples are all part of building the love we want in our lives.