How we present ourselves to society says a lot about who we want to be
The other day I was scrolling down my Facebook feed and saw the funniest meme about a young boy who someone used a makeup app on. The caption read “Used a makeup app on my son and now he’s a strong independent woman who don’t need NO man” I laughed so hard seeing this young baby all dolled up.
I decided to try out these crazy apps for myself and was surprised at how it came out! Was that really me??? I looked 10 years younger! Then I began to think about a lot of those selfies out there. How we present ourselves to the world, tells a lot about us.
I adore makeup, but after many years of wearing it, it does not adore me
I can wear certain brands for a few hours without any issue, but on a day to day basis, I go bare or maybe put on some mascara. I’ve found that my overall skin tone is healthier and I am embracing my natural beauty. For so long, I felt I needed to look a certain way to face the world. So is it better to wear makeup or go natural?
I’ve heard arguments on both sides and some trolls out there are so nasty posting negative feedback for both opinions. Enough is enough! We all put on filters and masks. Some are from the latest shades of Urban Decay and others are the latest apps. I am the first to admit that how I appear all depends on where I am. Job interviews, photo shoots, and a night out on the town calls for a little extra priming and lashes. This gives me confidence and I feel so fabulous!
However, when I’m at home, work, or getting groceries, I prefer to leave the makeup at home. Strangely enough this is also more comfortable for those around me. Not too many folks where I live get dressed up to pick up laundry soap. Part of who I am is as a networker. I adore talking and listening to stories. In order to do this, I need to be comfortable with who I am and to make others more comfortable around me. When a person does not feel awkward, they will begin to talk about life.
Networking is key to my success
As a performing artist and business diva, I need to talk to people. I have to find a way for them to remember me on a professional level. Often times that means having my bright pink hair and a big smile. I realized that asking other people about their day or complimenting them on their style goes a long way. In a sense, this is another mask for me since I am a fairly shy person. Yes I know you might not have guessed it. Plus when I say a compliment, I truly mean it.
When I was flirting my fiancé, I made sure to look my best for him as well and show him who I am. That meant going on Skype without makeup. If our goal is to marry, he would probably end up seeing me makeup-less, sleepy, and messy hair. So I wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting himself into. Turns out, he loves how I look and appreciates when I dress up a bit as well.
Masks are both a blessing and a curse
They are a blessing because they can give us confidence to face uncomfortable situations like public speaking or a first audition. We step into a character we have groomed for years. Sometimes we might do this without ever thinking about it. Have you ever heard the line “let me slip into something more comfortable”? Well that is the dropping of a mask and perhaps putting on another one.
It can become a curse when we begin to lose ourselves in a character. Many actors, politicians, and even ministers can fall trap into this state of being. They have created this character so well that people have come to expect that person. Sadly people get so lost that they slip away or into madness because that is not who they truly are. Other times, they are secure in themselves that they can easily change their masks but I guarantee you that takes them a lot of work and self love to get to that point.
Where do we find the balance?
Time, focus, and the right people make all the difference. I’m not saying to stop putting on a filter every time you take a selfie or let it all hang out! I’m saying there is a fine balance between what we show the world and what we show ourselves. Finding safe and healthy outlets like exercise or sewing groups helps keep us on check. Surrounding ourselves with healthy positive friends who encourage each other when our walls are down is better than any therapy I can think of.
For people like myself who are shy, these masks keep our hearts safe. I’m very sensitive and as my love has told me, I want to hug the world. This can take its toll on my health so if I can create this character, I can keep a little bit of a distance between my shyness and that diva who wants to take stage! They are both part of me.
Know that you are beautiful the way you are and the way you show the world. Don’t hide behind societal standards because it is what you were always told, but find your way in life because at the end of the day, it is you who has to look at yourself in the mirror. Make that reflection proud!