But I do know when I’ll be back again
Flying always makes me nervous. It does not matter how often I travel by air, I’m still nervous. I studied how airplanes work, what happens during turbulence, and what precautions are taken. I know that flying is safer than driving. The moment that plane leaves the ground, everything in my being gets nervous.
Why do I fly if I am so freaked out?
Because it is a fast, safe, and efficient method of getting from where I am to where I want to be. Pilots have to undergo a lot of tests and many times have military backgrounds. They know the paths and the challenges. There are fail safes for many different scenarios. Yes, sometimes error happens, but I have faith that I will reach my destination safely.
Being legally blind, there are many times I find myself trusting strangers. When I get into a car or a bus or a plane, I need to give those who are driving me trust. I can’t jump into their seats and go! I am a designated passenger. My role is to relax and enjoy the ride. When it has arrived at my destination then it is my responsibility to thank those who made my trip a success. I don’t live in a vacuum and the last I check, inter-dimensional travel is yet to be in common use. (Who are my Star Trek fans?)
Flying can give many life lessons
Just like putting trust in the pilot, I need to put trust in something bigger than I am. There is only so much I can do and have control over. I am in control of my behavior and how I speak to other people. I’m far from perfect and have made mistakes. There have been times that the direction I have taken was not the best of choices and I needed to correct my course.
There are other instances that I have absolutely no control over. As I travel to Brazil, I have no control over the weather or the traffic. I cannot control the passengers around me or whether or not my luggage arrives in time for me to collect it. There is a lot of planning that goes on when traveling just to cover all the bases if things go pear shaped.
I have had much success in my travels and am excited for what lies ahead in this respect. I have often talked to many other passengers who are just as nervous as I am. Often times they have a few drinks before taking off or take a pill to sleep which makes a lot of sense. It’s just not for me. I try to pass the time reading, drawing, watching a movie, or just thinking about life. It is a great opportunity to map out the future and what I need to get done.
Just like I have faith in the pilots and drivers, I need to have faith in my life as well. The Lord has a plan for me that is bigger than I can comprehend. I have been praying recently asking for direction. Every time I think up something, my heart says “Think bigger”. My mind only can go so far so I need to leave that one up to the Lord. My faith is something I’ve been working on. I am a person to be a bit controlling, but most times I have no control at all. When there is nothing more I can do, I take a deep breath and keep walking.
In the past few months, after all of the planning for this trip and the paperwork for marriage, and the preparing of my space to welcome my fiancé into it, I now need to just be. It feels like I am falling backward into the air, like I am winded, trying to breathe. I am reminded of the time this past year I had my gallbladder surgery (first surgery I’ve ever had) and I recall the last thing I heard before falling asleep and the first when I woke up was “breathe”.
For so many years I’ve been stuck in one place or another waiting for my next adventure. More recently these adventures are coming at me quickly which I am excited about. I will see destinations I’ve only dreamed about going to and I pray that I get to see the world! So with my bags packed and passport in hand, I will take to the skies and breathe in a new day.