How we see ourselves makes all the difference
Have you ever looked into the mirror and not recognized the person staring back at you? Maybe it is difficult to look yourself in the eye because the reality is too intense. I’ve been there for sure. There was a time that even walking by a mirror showed me the truth about how far I was from my goal. I was so determined to get that beautiful daughter of God back on track!
Many self-development gurus insist that you look into the mirror and give yourself affirmations.
- You are beautiful
- You are important
- God loves you for who you are
- You are strong
- You are smart
I agree with them whole heartedly. We are the ones we have to go to sleep with every night. We are the ones who are held accountable if our lives start going sideways. Not the government, not our parents, not the weather, but us. If you truly are ready to change your life, it has to start with YOU.
In today’s blog, I want to let you in on four secrets that I’ve used to go from hiding from mirrors to stopping by each one I see and say “Yep, you are fine today!”
About three years ago, I started (still working on) a series of self-portraits. I wanted to explore techniques that I didn’t use in college and see how I viewed myself. The result still surprises me. There was this voice in my heart wanting to yell out. Painting, along with writing, is a powerful tool for healing.
Through this healing process, my confidence was raised
I think the first time I started to look at myself in the mirror, tears would stream down my face. Who was this girl I had become? Like an artist chipping away at marble, my form began to develop and I could see who I was for once in a long long time. When an artist begins to work on self-portraits, mirrors are needed. How can we see ourselves in darkness?
History shows so many of us artists have troubles coming to grips with what we see. Some artists fall into madness the deeper they look into their reflection while others find salvation. For me it was the later. I needed to do this to find that peace I so desired.
The first step was to actually look at the mirror
I couldn’t keep avoiding my reflection. If I wanted to change my life, I needed to see that lady staring back at me. I had to get comfortable with her. She wanted me to smile again. People tell me all the time how my smile lights up a room. I needed to give that light to myself. I began slowly, day by day looking into a mirror.
As my weight began to go and my health came back, that mirror became less of an enemy and more of a comrade. It was honest, for the most part, and it showed my progress. I found that not all mirrors are created equal so I found one mirror that made me look awesome and relied on it. Other mirrors changed my reflection slightly. This sounds strange but it is true. Ever notice how some mirrors in changing rooms look a bit magnified? It is because they are. Other mirrors may have a different glazing. Stick to one that you like.
The second secret is be silly and talk to yourself with love
I needed to look at myself and smile. So when I got in front of it, I would make joke or be silly. Anything to loosen up. There was a video a while ago of a young girl giving herself a pep talk in the mirror. That was what I needed to do. Get excited for the day!
I am constantly researching of new ways to self-love and self-respect myself in front of a mirror. One celebrity would tell herself every morning that she is a daughter of God, He loves her for who she is, she was meant to do amazing things, He makes no mistakes, so go out there and be fabulous. This routine helped her self-confidence soar and it sure did for mine too!
Secret number three is look your best like it is date night
With depression and being overweight, I would wear comfortable clothes. After all no one was seeing me. However, that is a myth, a lie, a non-truth because I would see me. I was the one who put these clothes on full of holes and stains. Those had to go! Time to go shopping.
I knew that I needed to see myself as this beautiful soul and clothing was the fastest way of physically seeing that transformation. I did not have a lot of money, so I would gradually add pieces and throw out the old ones little by little until my entire wardrobe was replaced. Losing as much weight as I did also required new clothes. Now, the majority of what I wear is professional or casual professional looking. It’s like I’m taking myself out on a date every day!
My fourth secret is to write or draw what you see in the mirror
We are how we perceive ourselves to be. Having a visualization whether by words or images is a great way that I know of to see what we are in our own hearts. Sometimes the first impression even after all of the work on our outside appearance can be shocking. Many times, artists who create self-portraits go through a transitional period. The object here is to make ourselves more confident with self-love.
If the first image or description doesn’t reflect something positive, start again. This takes practice and time so please be patient. In the self-portrait above, it was my first and I wanted to show myself dreaming, falling through the night sky. The tear was added for the bliss in my heart dreaming of my future.
These are four of my secrets to start looking in the mirror and love what I see. The journey is worth taking and can accomplish dreams along the way. Your strength will inspire others so please pass it forward because you are fabulous!