Strength can come from toxic people
I have read so many articles, and even written a few, about releasing those in our lives that not only hinder our success but put up truck sized road blocks to make sure we do not go any further. Sometimes those people are our family, friends, teachers, or counselors. Words are powerful especially on young minds. If a certain phrase or idea is repeated long enough, we begin to believe it. When this is negative, we start to build it into our DNA.
There are studies that show what we tell ourselves actually affects brain chemistry.
Like a poison or physical abuse, words impact our being. When we are impacted, we tend to become this idea of negative energy until it affects all that we do. I fully believe that those waves of negative energy are cast out into the world and have repercussions that are unimaginable.
Do you remember a time when you were told you cannot do that? Maybe someone said that people like us don’t…..(add phrase here).
Take a deep breath and release them because I’m about to let you in on a huge secret it has taken me 35 years to discover. It is something that has gotten me through the darkest of moments when it felt like the world was falling down around my ears.
When I was five years old, the spirit of dance moved through my body so intense that I would randomly dance in the grocery store. My mom searched for local schools that she could afford and found a small studio in a nearby town. The one day I was there, my mom overheard other mothers talking: “Can you believe they let her in here?” as they pointed to a young girl with Downs Syndrome. That little girl was beaming with joy as she danced to the beat of her heart. My mom decided another school would be better suited for me.
Ironically, the one she did pick was no better. I made it all the way to my recital when I vividly remember one girl ripping my tu-tu just before we went on stage out of spite. Did I cry? Yea a little bit, but I remember gathering up all of my might to dance and dance I did! In fact, I danced better than the other girl. However, people are cruel and I could even hear the mothers murmuring about my ripped dress.
So many times I wanted to dance and was met with all of the reasons why I was not allowed to. I’m too fat, too blind, too short, not enough talent, too poor, blah blah blah. These words hurt until one day when I was in college. I was so tired and I knew I wasn’t giving 100%, but none the less, the teacher saw potential. She was a former dancer with Bob Fosse’s troupe. If you do not know who he was, just watch Chicago. You’re welcome.
Bob Fosse was and still is one of my mentors I never met. His style of dance influenced by Isadora Dunkin and other Bohemian styles changed the way we see dancing to this day. His lifestyle was hard, but he put it all on the line. So when our class was given the opportunity to choreograph a routine, I jumped right on that assignment and came up with some moves to fit my style. Once the teacher saw what I had, she told me Bob would be proud. LIFE MADE!
What about all the haters?
Just because one person told me something good, does not mean the negativity stopped. There were a few more positive moments from people I admired. My dance teacher when I was 11 years old told me that I had such talent and not to let others put me down. Or the top dancer in the studio whom I looked up to, one day told me that my leaps were so graceful and never stop dancing.
Saddest part is that even after all of that positivity, I stopped dancing. It wasn’t until I changed my life around that my passion for dance came raging through like a bullet train. I needed to get over/under/through these mountains of haters and negativity to see that once again.
So what is the secret? People who speak negativity are captives.
They have built up their cages of lies and frustration. They are so scared to see others get hurt or disappointed or sometimes better than they were. Whether in fear, anger, hate, or resentment they spew words that need to be locked away and buried in the darkest of caverns.
Once I release them from their captivity and bless/forgive them, my own walls began to fall down. It has NOTHING to do with me. People who are negative are only hurting themselves. What I can do is stop the cycle to let love flow through me.
I have the choice to change
When I began to take my life back, I needed to change the way I talked to myself. Sometimes that meant walking away from negative people. Those I could not walk away from, I had to find safe spaces. I made a decision to read, watch, and listen to mentors who spoke love. I burned through podcasts and books and videos of prophetic words. It was not about me and I needed to build my world to send out positive energy.
The more I began to change, the more those around me were affected. Some repelled from me like a physical barrier between us which was fine with me. Others changed around their lives. Some stayed the same but accepted my change.
This is my secret and it has changed everything. Now it is yours to use and grow from.